Hurting

‘You have to hurt in order to move on’

That is the phrase that inspired this blog post. Hurting is a necessary part of life. We hurt when someone dies, when we have to say goodbye to our loved ones, when we close a chapter of life and start a new one, or in my case, when it’s time to move thousands of miles away from my home to go to college.

The time has come to move out of the house. I never thought I’d be more terrified and excited at the same time.

The past week has consisted of several goodbyes, hugs and tears. I told my mom as we were having lunch that I just wanted this part to be over. I didn’t want to hurt anymore or cry or say goodbye to a single other person. I just wanted to skip this part and move to college. Get the goodbyes and tears over with. This is what she told me: ‘Esta parte, mi hija, es necesaria.’

‘This part, my daughter, is necessary.’

Hurting is a part of life. It reminds us how valuable people are. We have to hurt in order to have closure and move on with the next thing in our lives. It’s not emotionally, mentally, or physically healthy to not let yourself feel. This might cause you to break down in the future and a little guilt might even come for not getting proper closure.

It’s ok to cry, to hurt. Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely yes.  

Personally, I don’t like to cry in public. I don’t like feeling vulnerable and exposed in front of people. That’s ok, that’s understandable. Most people don’t like wearing their hearts of their sleeves; however, this doesn’t mean that every time you are sad or hurting you’ll put your feelings in a box and lock them away. Like I said: not good.

It’s hard to hurt, but it is necessary. And I promise, it won’t last forever.

To Club or Not to Club

Too often, Bible teachings become clichés. Like the ‘and they lived happily ever after’ at the end of a story or the ‘better safe than sorry’ in a talk from your parents, these are words that we’re just tired of hearing so we automatically shut our ears off when we hear them. We say, ‘Yeah, whatever. I already know that’ and we keep going on with our day.

Oh, but how we stab ourselves in the back when we treat Bible teachings like this. Like they’re just another cliché phrases that we’ve heard a billion times.

I had to think about this when I got a quite tempting proposition from one of my cousins who came to visit me this summer. My cousins live overseas, so in the little time they were visiting us, we wanted to spend as much time as we could with them. As my cousins, my brother and I are sitting on your rooftop, late one night, looking at the stars, one of my cousins says that she wants to go clubbing with us the next Friday night. Now, for some of you, this might not be a problem or a temptation, but for me, it is.

At first, I said no and came up with bad excuses to avoid talking about the subject. Eventually, I gave in and I said yes because a night out with my cousins sounded like fun and I didn’t think much about it afterward. When I told my mom I decided to do this, she was not happy.

What good can a Christian find in the club?

How does this glorify God?

You cannot live to please other people. You live to follow Jesus.

Would this be something Jesus would want you to do?

You can have fun in a way that glorifies God.

These were all questions and statements that she told me once I told her about my decision of going clubbing but the statement that stuck with me was ‘You cannot live to please other people. You live to follow Jesus’. How many times have I not heard this at church or at a Bible study? It’s basic Christian knowledge that we live to follow and serve our Lord and Savior, but how many times do we over look this like it’s another cliché? We’ve heard this a billion times, but do we actually put it into practice? I realized at that moment after talking to my mom that I rarely consulted Jesus in my decision-making process.

Do you consult Jesus every time you are about to make a decision? Is pleasing Jesus a priority for you or do people come first? Would you give into peer pressure so you won’t feel like the odd kid out?

After some thought, I told my cousin that I wouldn’t be going because I decided that pleasing Jesus and striving to be like Him every day is way more beneficial for me than clubbing. I believe I made the right choice. What choice would you have made?

Ephesians 5:8-10

“For you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.”

Romans 12: 2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

But I’d rather make ’em yawn than be a pawn on your chessboard
So call me boring, call me cookie cutter
Call me what you want, a matter of fact
Just say it loud and don’t stutter
'Cause I know who I am, yeah I’m still the same

--- Tori Kelly

Being Proactive

I have a younger brother. He's 18 months young than I am. If you were to meet him then you'd see how different we are. We don't look alike, he's an introvert while I'm an extrovert, he's a math and science person while I'm an art person, etc. The point is, we are very different from each other. One of our biggest differences is that he is reactive and I am proactive. When it comes to buying things in the store, he thinks 'what do I need now' but I think 'what do I need now and what will I need later.'

This tends to make me a bigger spender than he is, which he sometimes finds ridiculous but that's ok. Being either proactive or reactive isn't necessarily wrong but it will give you different consequences. If you are reactive, you wait for a problem to come to you and then you do something about it; however, if you are proactive then you deal with a problem before it even becomes a problem, or a bigger problem.

Personally, I love being proactive. I like solving things before they even become an issue.

Whether you are proactive or reactive, the Bible tells us to work and to be diligent about in our work. Whether you are a student or a parent we need to be diligent and work. My mom always tells me to do everything I need to do in one day in the day I scheduled it. Like that I can deal with tomorrow's problems tomorrow and not have to deal with the problems of yesterday and tomorrow.

I know we all have a degree of laziness in us. Sometimes all you want to do is eat, sleep and watch TV. I know I've done it before. And it's good to take some down time, just not too much of it.

I encourage you today, not only to work hard, but to enjoy the results of your hard work.

P.S.: Be proactive :)

Proverbs 10:4

Poor is he who works with a negligent hand, But the hand of the diligent makes rich.

Admitting You're Wrong

I am one of those people who don't like to be wrong. I will fight and make up the stupidest of arguments sometimes just for the sake of 'not being wrong'. Eventually, at some point, I have to stop and admit how ridiculous I'm being and admit that I am not right. It's a pride issue. I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that don't like to be wrong and that don't like admitting you are wrong. But sometimes you have to admit you screwed up.

Recently I screwed up big time. Like, I have NEVER messed up a friendship like I messed up this one. I got caught in the middle of a couple. I was a friend to both of them and it was never my intention to hurt any of them. They were having some trouble during a period of a couple of months and over and over again I kept sticking my nose in their business. I always wanted to know what EXACTLY was going on with them and I wanted them to tell me about EVERY decision they made as a couple. I always wanted them to keep me in the loop of things because I just wanted to KNOW what was going on just for the sake of knowing.

Because I have the bad impulse to want to know things. My curiosity kills me.

Bad idea.

Now it's been about two months since I've had conversations with either of them. And I can't really put into words how GUILTY I feel about pushing my way into their relationship. I was really close friends with both of them but now I'm not. All because I wanted the relationship to be between three people instead of two.

Lesson learnt: don't stick your nose in business that isn't yours.

It took me a while to ask them for forgiveness because, like I said, I don't like being wrong, I don't like messing up. But sometimes you have to understand that you have to value your FRIENDSHIPS over your PRIDE.

You don't have to always be right. Insisting that you are right and others are wrong can just hurt people and damage your relationship. In my case, I did not admit I was wrong and over and over again I caused more and more damage. I completely blew it.

It is better to give up a fight than loose a friendship.
People are more valuable than your ego. I had to learn that the hard way.
Hopefully it's not too late for you.

- Ruthie

Silence >>>

Hello World! It's been a while  :)

I don't know about you guys, but I can be SO LOUD sometimes. When I'm talking about something that I am passionate about or when I am fighting with someone, usually it will not be in whispers. I'm one of those people who will be very critical, sometimes, and brutally honest, sometimes :) (But believe me I have a HUGE heart for people :) ). In certain situations being like this comes in handy but when it comes to relationships it might be more harmful than encouraging.

I have a friend named Jean and I've noticed, and other people have noticed too, that most of the time we are together we are arguing, not because we are mad at each other but because we are very different, coming from different backgrounds, and we try to support our points of views. We are both passionate people and when we talk about certain things we tend to clash.

Speaking your mind is not something bad at all. We all have the right to speak up and voice our opinions, but it's not always the wisest thing to do.

Sometimes it is better to be silent.

As I read Proverbs 17: 27-28 in my devotional this morning, I noticed the common theme of silence.

"He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips he is considered perceptive."

If I'm in a situation where I'm arguing with someone, it's not wise for me to add "wood to the fire" with my words but it's my turn to be quiet and listen. After all, God gave us two ears and one mouth. There is no reason to harm a relationship because I feel like being right all the time. My relationship with Jean is worth SO MUCH MORE than my pride. Honestly, this is something I have to work on A LOT because I always want to be right, but only God is right all the time and He's telling me to be quiet...even if it's SUPER hard for me.

I encourage you today to make wise choice about when are you going to speak, or when you'll stay silent. Our relationships with our friends and family come first and in the book of James the author dedicates almost a WHOLE chapter to the words that come out of our mouths, which have more impact than we realize.

Sometimes it is better to be silent.

:)

Who My Friends Really Are

"...Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature...For the LORD does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Sam. 16:7


As I was reading the story of David and his journey to kingship I came upon this verse. Samuel was in the process of choosing Israel's next king and I can't help but notice how human he was in his selection process. This verse says Samuel was looking at the physical appearance and stature of the sons of Jesse because normally when we think of kings we think of a man who is strong, tall, handsome, a warrior at heart; but God knows who was going to bless Israel the most and who was going to glorify Him in his rule.

Personally, I have found myself in Samuel's shoes many times, but instead of choosing kings I choose friends, people I want to hang out with and share life with. This reminds me of the time I met my best friend for the first time. God  knew that she was going to be an incredible blessing in my life because He was looking at her heart but like I was looking at her physical appearance all I could think of was how nerdy she looked at the time. Like I was a very immature fifth grader we did not become friends until the seventh grade, but since then I have had the time of my life.

I look back at my high school experience and notice that I have had a great life. God has put around me people who care about Him and want to live a life the glorifies Him, who care about me and my spiritual life, and people who just want to live joyfully and peacefully in Him.

But now if you look at my friends some people might say we all look kinda nerdy (cause like 95% of my friends wear glasses but I think they look cool), we goof off way too much (because most of the time we spend together we're just laughing), and that we are REALLY geeky (because we are in love with superhero movies, comics, and books).

Sometimes the people who will be a blessing in your life do not look like superstars, but what God sees is more important than what we see.

We do not exactly look like "the perfect squad" or like kings and queens but God knew that these were the friends I was going to need in this moment in my life. I love my friends. They are the bomb.

Just like God led Samuel to choose the right king of Israel, He will guide you to the right people who will be just right for you.  And believe me, with them you will have the time of your life.

So Now They Have Rights.....mhmmm

These past few weeks have been tough fro the Christian community. There has been a lot of talk about legalizing gay marriage. So I'm going to say what I think about this:

I am a Christian. If God says it's wrong, well then I say it's wrong. Marriage is composed by one man and one woman; that's the way God designed it so that's the way it should be.

The problem is that today there is a Christian stereotype concerning this topic: Christians hate gay people. That's not true for everyone.

It's true that some people, christian or not, will hate gay people or any time of person that is different from them. Personally, I do not hate people who believe or do things differently than me. People should be loved and cared for. God did not tell us to love or neighbors only if they were like us. He just told us to love our neighbors. Period. That includes everyone around us disregarding their ethnicity, moral or religious belief and background.

During high school I had a gay friend and a bisexual friend. Yes, I talked to them every day, I studied with them, I hung out with them, went to parties with them and I was there for them when they needed me. They knew what I believed in and what I stood for but we still had a lot of fun together. Now that we went our separate ways, I still keep them in my prayers. The seed of the gospel was planted in their hearts through my actions and through school. My job is done but it's up to the Holy Spirit to transform them.

Honestly, Christians are called to love the sinners, not the sin, and to plant the seed of the Holy Spirit in the hearts of the people around them, but that's all we can do. We do not have the power to transform; that's up to God.

So, if you are gay, yes I could be your friend even if I'm not like you.

And God loves you, but not your sin. He yearns to be with you and give you life like never before.

And life with God is worth more than the freedom this world can give you.