Hurting

‘You have to hurt in order to move on’

That is the phrase that inspired this blog post. Hurting is a necessary part of life. We hurt when someone dies, when we have to say goodbye to our loved ones, when we close a chapter of life and start a new one, or in my case, when it’s time to move thousands of miles away from my home to go to college.

The time has come to move out of the house. I never thought I’d be more terrified and excited at the same time.

The past week has consisted of several goodbyes, hugs and tears. I told my mom as we were having lunch that I just wanted this part to be over. I didn’t want to hurt anymore or cry or say goodbye to a single other person. I just wanted to skip this part and move to college. Get the goodbyes and tears over with. This is what she told me: ‘Esta parte, mi hija, es necesaria.’

‘This part, my daughter, is necessary.’

Hurting is a part of life. It reminds us how valuable people are. We have to hurt in order to have closure and move on with the next thing in our lives. It’s not emotionally, mentally, or physically healthy to not let yourself feel. This might cause you to break down in the future and a little guilt might even come for not getting proper closure.

It’s ok to cry, to hurt. Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely yes.  

Personally, I don’t like to cry in public. I don’t like feeling vulnerable and exposed in front of people. That’s ok, that’s understandable. Most people don’t like wearing their hearts of their sleeves; however, this doesn’t mean that every time you are sad or hurting you’ll put your feelings in a box and lock them away. Like I said: not good.

It’s hard to hurt, but it is necessary. And I promise, it won’t last forever.

To Club or Not to Club

Too often, Bible teachings become clichés. Like the ‘and they lived happily ever after’ at the end of a story or the ‘better safe than sorry’ in a talk from your parents, these are words that we’re just tired of hearing so we automatically shut our ears off when we hear them. We say, ‘Yeah, whatever. I already know that’ and we keep going on with our day.

Oh, but how we stab ourselves in the back when we treat Bible teachings like this. Like they’re just another cliché phrases that we’ve heard a billion times.

I had to think about this when I got a quite tempting proposition from one of my cousins who came to visit me this summer. My cousins live overseas, so in the little time they were visiting us, we wanted to spend as much time as we could with them. As my cousins, my brother and I are sitting on your rooftop, late one night, looking at the stars, one of my cousins says that she wants to go clubbing with us the next Friday night. Now, for some of you, this might not be a problem or a temptation, but for me, it is.

At first, I said no and came up with bad excuses to avoid talking about the subject. Eventually, I gave in and I said yes because a night out with my cousins sounded like fun and I didn’t think much about it afterward. When I told my mom I decided to do this, she was not happy.

What good can a Christian find in the club?

How does this glorify God?

You cannot live to please other people. You live to follow Jesus.

Would this be something Jesus would want you to do?

You can have fun in a way that glorifies God.

These were all questions and statements that she told me once I told her about my decision of going clubbing but the statement that stuck with me was ‘You cannot live to please other people. You live to follow Jesus’. How many times have I not heard this at church or at a Bible study? It’s basic Christian knowledge that we live to follow and serve our Lord and Savior, but how many times do we over look this like it’s another cliché? We’ve heard this a billion times, but do we actually put it into practice? I realized at that moment after talking to my mom that I rarely consulted Jesus in my decision-making process.

Do you consult Jesus every time you are about to make a decision? Is pleasing Jesus a priority for you or do people come first? Would you give into peer pressure so you won’t feel like the odd kid out?

After some thought, I told my cousin that I wouldn’t be going because I decided that pleasing Jesus and striving to be like Him every day is way more beneficial for me than clubbing. I believe I made the right choice. What choice would you have made?

Ephesians 5:8-10

“For you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.”

Romans 12: 2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

But I’d rather make ’em yawn than be a pawn on your chessboard
So call me boring, call me cookie cutter
Call me what you want, a matter of fact
Just say it loud and don’t stutter
'Cause I know who I am, yeah I’m still the same

--- Tori Kelly